53: Dwarves in the Dark

Real World Info

This session was played on November 29, 2010, featuring:

Gamgar the dwarf
Connor the dwarf
Morgo the dwarf
Uts Magestabber the dwarf

Summary

Orcs and Goblins of numbers beyond reckoning were slain in the bowels of the earth. A chef's hospitality was met with hostility.

The Dwarves

Everyone could see in the dark. No lamps and torches were needed. Haha humans suck.

There were many doors, rooms and 10' wide tunnels. Some things of note included: a barred door which said "keep out" in orcish, a blacksmith behind a door, a room full of orcish armaments, two iron statues of orcish warriors (in different rooms), and a box full of nauseating gas.

The other dwarves encouraged Morgo to put on some of the orcish armour they found in the armory but he refused, his loathing of all things orcish superseding the basic fucking common sense of not walking around in hostile territory with no protection from orcish blades but the hair on your chest. Later Morgo was choked by some poisonous gas which left him violently puking but armour wouldn't have really helped him with that so it wasn't an I-told-you-so mishap. He was later reduced to 1 hit point, which kinda was.

Since the smithy room was so loud, Gamgar spiked the door shut from the hallway side and nobody noticed. Also, there was this one room that had some giant rats and a chest, but there was no gold inside the chest! Or the rats.

The Goblins Part 1: Suck it Maglubiyet

There were some goblins in a room. Now they're in goblin hell.

The Orcs

Gamgar fell into a pit which sucked, but he was man enough not to complain. He made a lot of noise too and attracted some unwanted attention so the dwarves beat feet back upstairs and listened to the commotion downstairs. They snuck back down and failed utterly to catch the orcs off guard with flaming oil (they set fire to an empty room and the orcs had gone in the opposite direction).

When the horde of furious orcs caught up with the party Connor threw a wine bottle full of acid into the crowd. The remaining orcs soon were soon dispatched by hand and exploration continued.

The Goblins Part 2: The Hilarious Ruse

Goblins were heard on the other side of yet another door. Gamgar decided to set up an ambush and so he knocked on the door and yelled (in Goblin language) "Hey guys! come quick, free food!" and then hid around a corner with his companions. A single confused, unarmed goblin ventured out to see what was going on. The dwarves leapt out and, like something from the Benny Hill Show all swung their weapons about farcically, failing to land even a glancing blow.

The Kobolds

Kobold slaves were found and they quickly struck a bargain with the dwarves for their freedom. The dwarves acquired the keys to their cell and, after dealing with their captors, some of the Kobolds agreed to work for Gamgar and Connor. Arkbark and Brizak would serve Connor as men at arms and (half?) a dozen Kobolds were willing to work for Gamgar in his efforts to rebuild Threshold.

The Goblins Part 3: The Walls Are Alive With the Sound of Losing… Your Life!

Oh god, goblins everywhere, goblins pouring out of the fucking woodwork, busting through the walls like the kool-aid guy, and trampling one another in the excitement. Connor got hit in the face a couple times, marring his (already hideous) countenance and maybe Gamgar suffered a superficial flesh wound but for the most part it was just an endless fluid stream of goblins pouring forth and rushing headlong into the eager outstretched weapons of the adventurers.

The Ogre

Dispatching a couple more goblins along the way, the party came to a kitchen where they found an enormous ogre butchering and preparing an elk. He seemed friendly enough and made small talk with the wary party but the pleasantries were brought up short when Gamgar smashed a flask of lamp oil on him. He was soon set alight and shortly thereafter brought down, but not before he was able to slice open Morgo pretty badly with his cleaver.

Multiple Exits to freeways twisted like knots on the fingers

Our intrepid Dwarven heroes also discovered three new exits (or entrances!) to this underground level that the kobolds built, slaving away for their goblin overlords. One is just past the portcullises that were keeping the kobolds imprisoned. It exits in a gully or ravine quite a ways away. A rough-hewn tunnel off the kitchen leads up to a long hallway and via a secret door to the room below the guard rooms in the tower. A third, just past the walls that spew goblins out of them leads up and spirals around until it terminates in a secret door that leads to the small room that was just behind the secret door that was a shelf where all the things on the shelf were nailed down that the dumb-as-a-post barbarian found earlier.

Deaths

  • Many Orcs (ie 6)
  • Even More Goblins (ie 29)
  • Brizak the Kobold
  • Swedish Ogre
  • Five giant rats

Loot

All PCs received 284 xp and 219.5 gp. Retainers received 142 xp.

Prev: Gamgar Fights the Ghouls

Next: Fire Mountain

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